I stand in awe

I go to a school where we learn about God everyday. Theology, Old Testament, The Will of God, etc. I'm more amazed by Him everyday and what He does and allows us to do. There are things that I don't understand either. Like pre-destination and the elect. I don't understand, but He is the all powerful and knows. He is the beginning and the end. He had no beginning, it is so hard for us to try to wrap our minds around that because everything that we know has a beginning. He has no end. That concept is a bit easily for me to understand because I know that my worldly life will have an end, but my Heavenly Father will come again and I will ascend into Heaven.

I stand in awe, I am amazed by Him everyday and I believe I truly am changing. I had a meeting with the pastor here at the church and he said that its hard for you to notice a change because Im here living it everyday, but when I get home, people will notice. I hope they, you, do. I love being joyful and sharing the love I have for Him. His love, is the reason that we can love. He set the standards for love. He set the standards for everything and I want His best in everything I do. I'm so happy I've taken this opportunity to come to this school and learn about Him. Believe me, it is more then hard to be this far away from home. I would love to be home with my family and friends.

This is the first Thanksgiving that I won't be with my family back home. Don't get me wrong I'm looking forward to seeing my grandma up in Maine, I just wish I could have both. I missed cousins, my brothers and I'll miss both of my parents birthday for the first time. I've missed get togethers with my family, etc. Its so hard. I love them all very very much and want to be there. I miss my friends too, I miss hanging out everyday, staying out until 5 in the morning on the weekends, anything and everything. But going home would be the easy thing and
probably the biggest mistake of my life. Thank you again to the people who encourage me to stay when I wish to be home. The people here won't let me leave either.

Just because you're hearing or should I say reading all this doesn't mean I'm not the same Morgan you knew before I left. Yes, there might be a few things that are different, but its still me. I still listen to the same music, same personality, same crazyness, still here. Promise. Same friends, same loves, same "hates". It's all here. I might say there are some things that I want differently but I'm still working on myself. I can't wait to see you all, 5oish days now. Time has flown by and I want it to keep flying. The next time I blink, it'll be May 15. So let's close our eyes together and before you know it, I'll be home, for good :)

Thanks for reading :)
I love you!

Post Secret :)

*I'm a copycat :)
*I have made things right with everyone I've had conflicts with and its the best feeling in the world.
*I'm seriously thinking I might have a shopping problem, as sad as that sounds.
*Like my heart melts, literally, when I see something I like.
*So theres this guy :)
*I live in Massachusetts and I don't like it.
*I don't think I have one particular bestfriend.
*I think I have a bunch of really good friends, that cover different aspects of what I need in one bestfriend.
*If I think you're one of those people I call you my bestfriend :) or tabiff :)
*I'm falling in love with God everyday.
*I love being in the word and learning something new everyday.
*I love my school I just wish it wasnt so far away.
*I wish I could paint
*I'm afraid of/ have a hard time believing in/ don't know what love is because of something that happened within my family.
*I am a serious hypochondriac
*I am not fond of dramatic people.
*I am not fond of immature people
*I blush more then any human being should.
*I seriously dont like it.. at all.
*I'm pretty sure I want a tattoo, I just think I would chicken out.
*I dream of being a mother more then a normal teenager should.
*I am not fond of conflict, I try to resolve it.
*I love looking up lyrics.
*I love music.
*I love all of the people in my life.
*I've worn it since the day I've had it.
*I would love for you to come to Honduras with me.
*I would like to go skydiving or bungee jumping, doesnt mean I won't be scared out of my mind.
*There are a bunch of people I look up to, they just don't know it.
*I'm scared that I won't get married because I won't find someone who can handle me, or my family.
*I wish I wasn't so scared of singing in front of people because I love singing.
*I love watching romantic, cute, chick flicks and finding some way of relating them to myself.
*I thought about being a motivational speaker once.
*Some of the things in my past just seem like bad nightmares now.
*I had a bunch of these, but then the power went out and I lost them :(
*As sad as it sounds, I could not imagine my life without my phone or a computer with internet.
*I don't know exactly where all the books of the Bible are, I feel so left out at school. Thank God for tabbed Bibles.
*I really love surprises.
*But I like surprising more... if thats possible for me.
*I want my perfect date to happen. Wait, who doesnt?
*I have a layout of my dream house, and hopefully one day I can have it.
*Even though I'm "grown up" I think about being a kid all the time.
*If I had the time, I could honestly take 3 hours getting ready.
*I think I might die on Mount Sinai.
*I have more ridiculous fears then anyone really should.
*Sometimes I wish bad things upon myself so I don't have to do something (i.e. Mount Sinai).
*Whenever I'm really upset going shopping could remedy my pain.
*Again, I think I have a shopping problem.
*Patient, enforcing husband needed for this problem.
*I love driving.
*I think I would be pretty b.a. if I learned how to drive stick.
*And if I learned to drift.
*I go through phases, like lots.
*Music and drinks change the most.
*This is fun, I recommend it.
*I don't want to be in college, I'm going for my future. (Probably the same for alot of people)
*If I could chose what time period I could have grown up in I would pick the 40s-50s
*I actually like hospitals. I wouldnt mind being a nurse.
*I've always wondered what it would be like to club all night.
*I like halloween for one certain reason ( it aint the candy :) )
*I wanted to be an Interior Designer because I like HGTV.
*I want to own a Coach purse.
*I have expensive taste.
*It's sad.
*I used to think I was cool because I rode a scooter.
*I know I can be a brat, but I really am grateful.
*This probably makes me look like I'm full of myself.
*I'm really not, so I'll stop.


If you just read all that, I'm guessing you love me :)
Thanks for reading!

A new fear

So I believe I have a new fear. What is it? Losing friends. Whether they were a big or small part of my life. I just can't take it. I don't understand why it bothers me so much. I've "lost" friends to drugs, girlfriends, or just the next big thing. I've gone through it, why do I care so much now? Even some of the friends that I "shouldnt" have in my life, I just want them to know that I love them, I care about them and I'm right here if they need me.

There are a few of them that its my fault that we're not friends. How do I tell them I'm sorry? Would they even care or listen? I don't think they understand how bad I feel. Or anyone for that matter. And even if they did, would it matter? Would things really go back to how they were, or would that still be in the back of their head, everytime they saw me. I can't take back what I've done, all I can do is say sorry and hope they can forgive me, and eventually forget about it.

Friends... When I first moved here I met her. She was so different then I was. When we both hit highschool she went down a path that I couldnt be walking right next to, so I stopped. I met another one. She changed my life. I broke out of my box with her help. She was much more outgoing then I was and it eventually rubbed off. I met another one, our group hungout every weekend. We knew everything about eachother and grew so close. Then one problem and it was gone. They still talk to me, but its not like it was those saturday nights. The two girls that I mentioned are still here. One I have just recently been in touch with. And I was glad to hear her say that she wanted to come to me. She knew that I loved her and was going to always be there for her. She told me I was always a good friend to her. That meant soo much. The other, she led me to the friends I have now. She still means alot to me and I hope she knows that. Like the other, I hope she knows Im ALWAYS here. Maybe I just want things to be like they used to be... Maybe thats my problem, holding on so tight to what used to be and not realizing that its just not the same anymore. I just wish things could go back. BUT, I guess. Everything happens for a reason.

I don't intend on blogging everyday, I just have a lot on my mind. So many questions I would love to just have answered. Do those people even know I question them everyday, probably not and I think I might just keep it that way.

Well, thats about it.
Thanks for reading.

Start!

Okay, so yes I've copied a few of you and decided to make a blog. I thought it would be fun :) Okay sooo where do I start. Well, My name is Morgan Bolduc. I just turned 18. I live in Massachusetts, as of right now.. but my life and the ones I love are in Georgia (and SC :) ) . It is so hard being 1000 miles away from home. Yes I admit, I've broken down a couple of times. Its hard, but I'm trying. Im counting down the days and planning what Im going to do already. I just can't help it, its a big part of my everyday thinking. Life up here is definitely different then back home. Its cold and most northerners are rude. But, most of the people I come in contact with everyday are really nice.

Oh school. I go to Berkshire Institute for Christian Studies, BICS for short. I really do love it. As crazy as it sounds my favorite class has got to be Theology. I love it. I have a great teacher too, so it helps. Even though I've come home many a time with a headache, I like those kind of headaches. The ones that get you thinking. I love my ministry too. BICS has you in a ministry program where you pick a certain thing, in my case the private school at the church called Berkshire Christian School BCS for short, and work a couple hours there and help out. This is perfect for me because I would like to be a teacher one day. I've been able to work one on one with the kids helping them read and count and I absolutely love it!

Living on my own has been a big thing for me too. Doing my own laundry, making my own meals, cleaning the dishes and house, paying my own rent... definitely different. Really makes you appreciate your parents. And everytime they give you some extra money its like christmas all over again. I was able to get some groceries today because my mom rocks! :)

Support, oh the support. My mom is my biggest supporter. I call her when I need advice or just someone to talk to and shes right there ready to listen and gives me the best advice. My friends have been great too. When I say I want to go home they encourage me to stick it out. Because this is going to be a great year for me. Thank you, you know who you are. I love you!

Friends. I have some pretty great friends. 3 of them I'd like to call the best. Its amazing how we've become so close over such a short period of time. Its hard for me to see them hangout because I want to be right there with them. I miss them more then they know. I think about them everyday and I can not wait to see them and have an epic christmas break. And not long after that, we have a whole new summer to spend with each other and I plan on staying there in the south to finish out my college years, so no more of this.

Okay, well i think that was a good start!
Thanks for reading :)