welcome to life

I haven't blogged in awhile. Mainly because I've had no time. At all. Between working 25 hours a week to pay for rent and food and christmas present (which unfortunately, I'm really sorry, will be cut short... I intended for getting so much more. I feel so stupid for not getting what I wanted for you guys..) I have school, which is cramming 2 semesters into 1. The worst. Think of how many breaks you've had from school, work, etc.. Wanna know how many I've had? ONE DAY. Since the beginning of August. ONE FLIPPING DAY. And I don't even get to have a break for Thanksgiving.. I have homework.

Christmas feels so far away. I want it to come so bad. I want to be home with my family, friends and loved ones. I want to relax, I want to have internet past midnight, I want to go out and do what I want BECAUSE IM OLD ENOUGH, I want freedom instead of stupid restricting rules that you get fines for for not following.

Now it is completely obvious that I am struggling. More then you know. Im trying to stick this out. I know that this year will do so much for me. James 1:2-4. "Consider it pure joy when you struggle." PURE JOY? are you serious? This is so difficult, the last thing I want to do is consider it joyful. But the end of these versus makes me stick it out. "Because you know the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I know this year is making me a mature Christian. Who will one day go on to be a leader, a wife, a mother. And I want to become a strong Christian woman for my family, for my friends, for my future husband, for my future children.

I don't want people to think this year is torture, I'm just a baby. I'm growing up and I don't like it. Im being molded, and God is chiseling everything that is not pleasing to Him to make me His. And it hurts. I don't want to do this, but I am. In Lit we're reading Pilgrims Progress. We had to make up our own name that we would like to be called, My name: "Miss Good and Faithful Servant" I want that name. I want God to be proud of my works and when I enter Heavens gate He will welcome me in saying, "Enter in my good and faithful servant." I want my glow. I want people to look at me and see Christ. I'm struggling, but this is the walk with Christ. Its hard, its not easy.

I walk in two worlds. Pray for me. I'm praying for you.

Thanks for Reading

Opinions

Christians now a days, are something else. "Proclaiming" they are Christians, then they go off and drink and party. HMMMM, were they really Christians in the first place? If you truly proclaim you are a Christian, you won't live a life (A LIFE, not a phase of time) of satisfying the god of this world. NO, rather, satifying the one and true God.



Heres my thing on drinking. An occasional drink with dinner, when you are of age, is fine. Jesus drank wine with supper. When you are under age, and when you are getting drunk, thats where its a problem. Your body is a temple, impairing that body is not good... but hey, people are going to do what they want to do anyway. I mean, you are a Christian, you've taken on the cross and now are following Christ... You deserve a good drink every once in awhile, right? Keep up the good work of letting people know how Christians act :) (In Matthew, it talks about how the best kind of witness is your good works) Sorry about the harshness.



Believe me, I'm not perfect either. Who is? Jesus Christ who took on the sins (all past, present and future) and we are to be like Him. Last time I checked he didn't get drunk or do drugs or have pre-marital sex.... Christians are not protraying Christ like He needs to be. I didn't (don't) either, for a long time. I was being stupid... You know what "finally" convicted me? Being in church, still high from the night before. And you know what? I didn't stop there, I went on a mission trip and shared my testimony in front of my entire church family, friends, and even some non-Christians. It was all good, when I was still on my fire for the moment, and then guess what? I screwed up again. It's hard for me to admit that, because I can't believe I let myself hurt myself, others and most importantly God again. It only proves God's grace and mercy. How I see things, everything happens for a reason, a reason I may not understand yet.. And I don't live with regrets. Although I am not perfect, God is and He makes no mistakes. Everything that has happened is within the soveriegnty of God's will. Why sulk and regret, when you could rather praise God. As for me, I would rather praise God.



But the underlying point to all of this, I was NOT strong. I did not strengthen myself. Are you really strong if you do stupid things? No you aren't. Do you even care? Probably not. Should you? Yes.What will get you to stop? Probably something really awful, and if you sit back and think about it, that is absolutely sad. You say nothing will happen, since when did you play God? Last time I checked He's the only one who knows whats gonna happen... and you have no control over that. So yeah, go ahead continue being stupid and thinking you know whats gonna happen. Have fun with that! I am mean come on, Christians are a chosen ones, one who God placed His Holy Spirit to draw you to become born again and then saved (John 3:5-7) and how do you (I) repay him? Go off and be stupid, when we should be going off and make fishers of men (Matthew 28:16-20)



Point: Christians are Christians. Some are portraying Christ how they are supposed to, some aren't. I'm not perfect, and this is not me trying to judge where you stand with God. Not my place. Just my opinion on some things.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I didn't want to publish this.