I haven't blogged in awhile. Mainly because I've had no time. At all. Between working 25 hours a week to pay for rent and food and christmas present (which unfortunately, I'm really sorry, will be cut short... I intended for getting so much more. I feel so stupid for not getting what I wanted for you guys..) I have school, which is cramming 2 semesters into 1. The worst. Think of how many breaks you've had from school, work, etc.. Wanna know how many I've had? ONE DAY. Since the beginning of August. ONE FLIPPING DAY. And I don't even get to have a break for Thanksgiving.. I have homework.
Christmas feels so far away. I want it to come so bad. I want to be home with my family, friends and loved ones. I want to relax, I want to have internet past midnight, I want to go out and do what I want BECAUSE IM OLD ENOUGH, I want freedom instead of stupid restricting rules that you get fines for for not following.
Now it is completely obvious that I am struggling. More then you know. Im trying to stick this out. I know that this year will do so much for me. James 1:2-4. "Consider it pure joy when you struggle." PURE JOY? are you serious? This is so difficult, the last thing I want to do is consider it joyful. But the end of these versus makes me stick it out. "Because you know the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I know this year is making me a mature Christian. Who will one day go on to be a leader, a wife, a mother. And I want to become a strong Christian woman for my family, for my friends, for my future husband, for my future children.
I don't want people to think this year is torture, I'm just a baby. I'm growing up and I don't like it. Im being molded, and God is chiseling everything that is not pleasing to Him to make me His. And it hurts. I don't want to do this, but I am. In Lit we're reading Pilgrims Progress. We had to make up our own name that we would like to be called, My name: "Miss Good and Faithful Servant" I want that name. I want God to be proud of my works and when I enter Heavens gate He will welcome me in saying, "Enter in my good and faithful servant." I want my glow. I want people to look at me and see Christ. I'm struggling, but this is the walk with Christ. Its hard, its not easy.
I walk in two worlds. Pray for me. I'm praying for you.
Thanks for Reading
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I love you.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, you'll see us before you know it.
you're not a baby, mo.
ReplyDeletethings are different and it's all new, but i am so proud of you for holding your head up so high through it all. you are such a strong woman and you can make it through this. we will always be here waiting and counting down the days until you come home. but until then, just soak up all the good things God is giving and doing to you.some of it may be tough, but that verse is right...it will all work out in the end for your benefit. God won't let you down, promise :)
i respect you now more than i ever have respected you. You are growing into a mighty woman of God and I can tell that you are for real about your walk with christ. its just a refreshing thing to see someone our age so completely surrendered to Christ-I yearn to live that way as well. You are not a baby Morgie, you are a human and you are strong in what you believe and I admire that so much. I love you and I cant wait to see you so that I can tell you how much you resemble jesus!
ReplyDeleteMorgan, I am more proud of you than I can express! I know when your wrote this, you had no idea you were about to see all of us! I think that's probably the reason we pushed so hard to come up. You needed some major encouragement! The statements you have made show enormous maturity and deep insight. The only piece of advice I will give you is work hard and pray. He will guide you in all things. Ask Him for help, He wants to give it to you and keep viewing the world as you are now-with the future and the consequence of the decisions you are making today affecting them. I love you!!
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