Dear God

Dear God,

Where to start? You know my heart already. You know my struggles. You know where this is going to lead me and what I'm going to choose, not only in a couple weeks but for the rest of my life. Its amazing to think how much You know me. You knew me when you were on the cross. It was my sin that held you there. All of my sin, and all of the sin of the ones you love. You took it on. How do I repay You? By being a stubborn girl, who doesn't trust you.

I don't understand why I am having such a hard time trusting You. To give myself completely to you, to rely totally on you. Why can't I do that? I think You're so selfish. It's all about You. YOU YOU YOU. Everything You want to the glory of You. I'm so selfish to think like that. I don't want to be glorified, I just want answers. I don't need to want, you are enough for me. More than enough. I'm so confusing. I'm confusing myself. You are obviously preparing me for something, I can feel it. Its in my heart and I can't let it go. I know You're testing me. You want to see how committed, or if I'm committed at all. This Christian walk is not fun. It's not easy. But I can't give up just because it's getting tough.

Please help me understand why this is happening and what I can do. Please help me to understand what You are doing. Please help me to be more understanding and willing to trust You, as hard, as pathetic as it is to be hard, as it is. Please help me to be more submissive to You. I mean You're only my God, My Father, My Savior who died for my sins.... Please help me to practice what I preach and listen to what I am telling other people before I expect it out of them. Please help me to make these decisions. You obviously want me here, so help me out. I can't do this on my own.

Please help me Lord, Please. I can't do this on my own.

Love,
Your daughter Morgan


If you're reading this (again, I'm not sure if I'll publish), Please be praying for me. I have some very big decisions to make coming up and it's not going to be easy.

God help me.
Please pray for me.

Thanks for Reading.