To see God in everything I do.

I want to see the world. I want to travel. Before I turn 19 I will have been to 4 different countries, 5 if you count the Bahamas. I love it. Absolutely love it. I want to see so much more. I want to go to Italy, France, Ireland, Portugal, England (again), Germany, Australia, China, Brazil, You name it! I want to go! I think it would be absolutely amazing.

Of course this would cost crazy amounts of money. I have a passion of seeing what this world has to offer. Seeing God's beautiful creation other than here in the states. I'm so excited to see the Holy Lands. (That is, if I go...) To see where Jesus walked and talked. To walk the places of Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, John, Paul, Peter, etc etc.

I just want to travel. I want the experience of seeing everything, but not only to just tour but to help or accomplish something. I don't know what, just a thought.

I'm not sure, this is just a big thought. I would like to live in a different country for awhile. I think it would be great, but who knows.

We'll see where God takes my life. I'm just sitting in for the ride. He chooses all this for me, so we'll see. I'm excited to see what He's going to do with my life. He is obviously preparing me for something. Something that He is using everything that has happened to me this year (struggles, financial issues, stress, hurt, more struggles, in short terms messy situations) to prepare me for it.

I'm really interested in what Hes going to do, and can I say I'm a bit nervous? Yeah well I just did so, haha. But I am excited.

This is kinda a mixed blog... I tend to do that. Oh well, my blog :)

Well to update on me, because I can do that (:P), I'm doing well. I'm still in a lot of stress and worry.. My loan disappeared, then declined and now no follow up. To be honest I had a feeling that it was going to happen. I had a bad bad feeling about taking a loan. No offense to my mother I know she means well, but I should've stood up and said something about her getting a loan, I didn't think it was right. I just settled on the fact that she knows best. Not saying that she doesn't but God knows better. I have a feeling He had something to do with the loan disappearing. He wants to handle this and I'm going to let Him. I trust Him to do whats right. I'm just waiting to see what He does. (Waiting is not fun, btw, but hey I'm a Christian, its not always fun but its worth it in the end)

Lately a lot of people have been telling me that I'm strong. Thank you for that awesome comment, but I want you to understand that my strength is not from me. My strength comes from Him. I'm not as close to Him as I would like to be, I have to start working on that, I really do, but everything I have comes from Him. He takes care of me. He really really does. He looks out for me and has saved me from a lot. (Different situations, guys, "friends", people in my life, etc) I don't appreciate Him as much as I should.

He died for me. He chose me, for whatever reason I really don't know.. I'm not all that great, but He thinks so, So I'll take it. (Wow, I'm in tears right now), I really do love Him. I really do. He is amazing. As much as I don't understand Him sometimes and how I get mad at Him. He reveals Himself and comforts me and takes care of me. Believe me, following Him is no walk in the park. It's not easy. It's rough. Very rough, but I know the rewards I will recieve one day. One great great day.

I'm glad I came to BICS. If you asked me why I came here or why I decided BICS I will tell you, I honestly have no idea. But I'm here and it has been life-changing and I'm grateful for every minute of it.

I'm glad this is the new me. I love it. I love the new knowledge I have. The new respects I have. The new love I have for Christ. I love it :) This is what truly makes me happy. Being a follower of my Lord, Jesus Christ.

:)


Thanks for Reading.